Day 43 – 23rd June 2010

Today the plan is pier to marina to west pier and back. About 5 miles and maybe around 3 hours. My longest to date.

My feeds were pre planned and I was up for it. However!! Asher up being sick at 4.30am, so that was a good start. I took the fusion at 7am, which was fine. However having porridge at 8.30am was really hard and I only got through half the bowl; how crap is that!

I’ve got to take the new Reflex banana shake in 10 mins, which is bothering me. Then the performance matrix at 9.40 when I leave. At least I am then done with food for a while. You would have thought at age 41 I would be over this eating nonsense! Really annoyed with myself over it. But the swim is a big one so I need to chill and get positive.

Weather beautiful, so that will certainly help. We swam, but not great. I was sluggish and slow (3hrs) and my mind was everywhere except where I needed it to be. I never made it to the West Pier though! I failed!! We swam to the Marina and back, but it took 3 hours – only took 2 hours last time. I’m sure the sea and tides were much tougher this time, but my mind and all that stupid eating just took its toll. Fiona said my feeds were daft as I should not be turning up for a big swim feeling bloated; I should know that!!! But I was only following instructions! I know that completing a Marina swim is great, but I’m really peeved at not including the West Pier; I feel really down about it.

Fiona had agreed that she will “personally” take interest in my feeds now, will meet the performance food chaps and meanwhile I should stop taking the powders until she meets them - thank goodness! I really could not have had another morning of feeds like today, it was so counter productive.

I’m going to miss my swimming now till Monday as I need a rest. Kids staying with Sharon’s parents this weekend so we are of to Dublin (Friday) (oh yes baby) and I’ll do some nice pool swims and light gym workouts whilst I’m there; gotta do something! Also will be having two glorious massages and doing lots of reading!